Saturday, November 29, 2008

Today is a Blue Day....

Today was one of those days.....  I didn't post yesterday because, guess what.......yesterday was one of those days too!  I can't seem to get out of this funk.  This funk has lasted a little longer than past funks.  I attribute some of it to my antidepressants being switched around.  Six years ago I started on Zoloft, switched to Lexapro two years later and stayed on that for 2 1/2 years, then Pristiq (this one really messed me up more than ANY others).....  and now I am on Wellbutrin.  So far... the newest is not working.  Things have gotten way way worse than better. Unbelievable sadness and not happy with life.  There is so very much I have to be thankful for. Why does this happen to me?  Is it because of the horrible mistake I made 14 years ago?  Why do I live this way.......  

Obviously, this whole healing deal is going to a long, long, long process.  I do believe though that I am on the right track.  I will get to a place where I feel I have healed my past and forgiven myself.  I will not ever give up on my hope, it is all I have....

I haven't gotten around to writing the letter my counselor suggested.  I will though... soon enough.  

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