The Elephant on my shoulders

The weight of the past 14 years is slowly getting lighter.  Waking this morning, I had a feeling that I haven't felt in years.  I awoke thinking and believing for the first time in 14 years, that I actually might be able to heal.   I am unsure of why I have chosen to heal at this point in my life, other than wanting to live again.  I have always been one to love life and live it to the fullest.  I haven't done that since the abortion.  I now know that if I don't heal and live with peace, I will destroy everything I have been blessed with.  

It has been years since I have gone to counseling.  Yesterday I had my first session with a professional counselor.  It went very well.  My homework from the session is two different assignments.  The first is to read Romans 8 everyday for the next week and the second assignment is to write a letter to the baby I aborted.  My stomach knots up when I think about writing that letter.  I haven't started it yet.  Honestly I dread it.   The letter though is an important step to my healing.  I will post the letter once it is written.